DIY Sheep costume

First we calculate how big costume will be.

Most patterns come in 2,500, 5,000, 15,000 square feet increments, although smaller and bigger costumes are quite common. An easy calculation of length x width, and subtraction of inner 3 dimensional areas. Strangely this easy math is not commonly addressed, and more costume than necessary is often purchased. Another missing piece of the costume calculations is generally an idea of what pattern is needed. Perhaps your feet are bigger, or your nose is smaller. Without checking, you will just be randomly buying costume pieces, like a good sheep.

UnEmbellishing your costume.

This can depend on many factors of non-personal taste. This removal appears to be a direct effect of how many television commercials you watch, or slick magazine ads reach your blinded eyes. Embellishment removal usually includes: dandelions, clover, plantain, butterflies, bees, and birds, but is not limited to this list. Collateral removal is common. This particular step seems to be an unconscious affect of putting on the costume.

How to squeeze in to your costume.

Basically, just close your eyes tightly and yank it on. Please note, once you have it on, it may be very challenging to remove it. And, your eyes must remain tightly closed. Many of your neighbors may also be in the secure costumes too. Besides the constricting tight fit, sheep tend to hang in flocks. And most everyone believes straying from the flock is not acceptable, and even deeper, unsafe. This is both amusing and ironic, since the costumes are believed to be made by a wolf in sheep’s clothing… This paradigm can result in continuing to wear your costume longer than you thought you would, even if you secretly wish you could just take it off.

How much does a costume cost?

Well, now, that is a tricky question. Funny, but not, the more embellishments you take away, the higher the cost! Payment fees are individual, of course, but appear to be multifaceted. Fees are monetary, environmental, health related and planetary. Some of this is determined by the costume wearer, some is due to huge flocks of sheep congregating in close quarters.

Costume accessories.

Seldom purchased, yet quite necessary! Accessories for mixing and spreading un-embellishing parts of your costume include: Rubber Gloves, Respirator, Tight Fitting Safety Glasses, Long sleeved Shirt and Pants. (*note- make sure you pull your sheep ears tightly to your head also). A nice full wallet can also help as once you put the costume on, it’s gonna cost ya. Oh, and while you can let someone else wear your costume, you are still wearing it too. You just have pulled the wool more securely over your eyes.

How do I get the costume off?

Stray from the flock. Go ahead, do it. The costume will start to fall off piece by piece, all by itself. You eyes will begin to see with more and more clarity. Let your embellishments, and your self, bloom. Go ahead, try it on for size. The also available, and becoming quite popular, Organic Choice fits so perfectly! No squeezing or constriction. No itchy costume. And you don’t have to worry about where you graze.

Frolicking in a highly embellished meadow,




One Comment

  1. Emily C May 6, 2017 at 8:14 am

    Happy to be the black sheep of our block/flock. Or maybe the llama. Love your nonconformist herding!

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